15 ways to get back to sleep when you wake at 3am

It is normal and natural to wake in the early hours – but it can feel disastrous. Follow these simple steps to help you drift off writes Emine Saner in The Guardian


Time moves differently in the middle of the night. Hours can drag one moment, then race by the next, catapulting you between chronic boredom and violent panic that morning is clawing at the curtains. Yet, though it may not feel like it in the moment, it is entirely normal to wake up. “The natural human sleep pattern is not a consolidated eight hours,” says Russell Foster, professor of circadian neuroscience at Oxford University, and author of Life Time: The new science of the body clock, and how it can revolutionise your sleep and health. Still, it’s not pleasant to lie awake in the early hours worrying about everything from climate catastrophe to whether that was an inappropriate joke to put on that group chat, or whether you’ll ever sleep again – especially if it happens regularly. Here is some expert advice on how to stay calm plus what to do so that – hopefully – sleep will follow.
Crack a smile

It’s easy to catastrophise in the middle of the night, says Alanna Hare, consultant in sleep medicine at the Royal Brompton and Harefield hospitals. “‘I’m going to perform really badly at work tomorrow, then I’ll lose my job, then my partner will leave me’ – it can escalate quite quickly. Try to move away from this idea that being awake in the night is a dreadful thing that’s going to lead to terrible consequences.” Camilla Stoddart, a sleep coach, advises smiling, which may stop or slow the spiralling. “Smiling releases serotonin and dopamine, and triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the opposite of the system that controls your fight and flight response. If you can disengage from the struggle, you’re more likely to get back to sleep.”

Tackle stress

When we can’t get back to sleep, it’s usually because our minds are busy or we’re worried about something (though to rule out a sleep problem such as restless legs or sleep apnoea, it’s best to see your GP). “Most of us don’t have a sleep problem, we have an anxiety and stress problem,” says Foster. In our waking life, Foster advises “finding techniques that work for you, whether it’s mindfulness, yoga, whatever. It’s important to de-stress.” Talking to a therapist and tackling unresolved problems might be helpful; some simple meditation or gratitude practice might be enough, says Nerina Ramlakhan, physiologist and author of Fast Asleep, Wide Awake. “Don’t push problems away, don’t deny that you’re not feeling great about your relationship or your job or whatever it is that’s bothering you. Those emotions, if they’re not expressed, have a tendency to pop up in sleep, either in nightmares, or in difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep.”

Consider your life stage

We tend to wake up more as we age, says Foster, “because the robustness of the circadian drive for sleep reduces – we’re probably not going to get the sleep that we got when we were younger”. Hormones underpinning urine production also change as we age, which is one reason why older people often need to get up to go to the loo at night. Menopause affects women’s sleep in several ways, including body temperature – if you sleep with a partner, consider getting separate duvets to help with this – and changing hormone levels. “Oestrogen can promote sleep, and so can progesterone, by making you more relaxed and less anxious,” says Foster. “Those changing hormones can disrupt those patterns, and it’s the same with the menstrual cycle.”

Adopt healthy habits

 

The way we sleep is a reflection of the way we live, says Ramlakhan, “so if you want to sleep better, you have to live better”. You know what you need to do: exercise, nutrition, stress reduction. Ramlakhan has her list of “five non-negotiables, which can help you sleep more deeply. Eating breakfast within half an hour of rising [to stabilise your blood sugar levels], not using caffeine as a substitute for food, making sure you’re well hydrated, getting to bed earlier – about 9.30-10pm – and cultivating a healthier relationship with technology.” She isn’t a particular fan of the label “sleep hygiene” because it can feel like a chore to run through a bedtime routine which might include putting devices away, dimming the lights and having a warm bath. “Those things might help,” says Ramlakhan, “but actually, it’s the way we live from the moment we wake up until the time we’re getting into bed that is going to have an impact on how you sleep.”

Do some journalling before bed

Getting worries or busy thoughts out of your head, even the next day’s to-do list, before bed might help, says Stoddart. If the worries are bigger – such as the threat of nuclear war – “you just acknowledge that you can’t really do anything about that, especially not in the middle of the night”. Hare recommends “constructive worry” – you can find examples online to print and follow. “It is a way of organising your thoughts by writing them down in a particular fashion, so that when you wake in the night, you’re less likely to start list-making or worrying.”

Avoid medication

Foster says sleeping pills can help you sleep, “but they can make it more difficult to wake up and leave you feeling groggy in the morning, and may also increase daytime sleepiness later”. Newer, shorter-acting sleeping pills may work for night waking, “but it’s advisable to make sure you have at least four hours before you need to get up”. Taking melatonin – the tablet form of the hormone that increases at night to make you feel sleepy – will not prevent you from waking, says Foster, but similarly to shorter-acting sedatives, it could help to take it in the night when you wake up. Like sleeping pills, it should be prescribed by your GP, he stresses. Overall, medication should not be used long-term and is “not the answer to waking at night. In almost all cases, non-pharmacological approaches will work.”

Don’t ‘try’ to get back to sleep

“The main mistake people make when they’re struggling to get back to sleep is they lie in bed, often very still because they’re trying not to wake up their partner – but sleep doesn’t respond well to effort,” says Hare.

Don’t check the clock

 

When patients tell her they wake at 2.05am every morning, “therein lies the problem,” says Ramlakhan. Looking at the time “is one of the biggest disruptors to being able to get back to sleep”. It creates anxiety, and worse, says Ramlakhan, you’ll probably check the time on your phone and get sucked into doing other things on it. “Use an old-fashioned alarm clock and turn it away from you,” she says. “It’s not important to know the time. Learn to let go.”

Hare adds that once people start noticing they wake at a similar time each night, perhaps as a result of natural sleep patterns, they “start to develop rules: ‘if I’m awake at this point, I won’t go back to sleep; once I’ve woken at 3am, that’s it for the night’. They’re arbitrary and not true, but they become self-fulfilling prophecies. So try not to look at the clock.”

Don’t look at your phone

We all know we shouldn’t be on our phones in the night but the lure is so great that Hare reports people even do it in her sleep laboratories. Some researchers think the detrimental effect of blue light on sleep from devices has been exaggerated, but with your phone in your hand it’s too easy to check work emails or get sucked into social media.
Don’t concentrate on trying to sleep, but concentrate on reducing hyper-arousal

… except to quickly put a mindfulness app on

“As long as you’re popping the app or podcast on, and not looking at the screen after that,” says Hare. “What you don’t want is having bright light in your face for 10 minutes while you scroll through, trying to find something.”

Mindfulness apps can be useful, says Ramlakhan, who has also recorded some of her own meditations including body scans (you can also find free examples on YouTube). “One is a body scan where you start with one foot and you say the words ‘I love my left big toe’ and you work your way up your body.” If you find yourself worrying about something else, or becoming distracted, start again. Another way of quieting a busy mind, says Hare, is using counting techniques. “I often use a very simple one, which is trying to count back from 1,000 in sevens, and if you get stuck, you have to go back to the beginning again.”

… or listen to a story

Foster finds the short plays on BBC Radio 4 Extra relaxing. Stoddart loves audiobooks and podcasts, rather than sitting up to read with the light on, “because there’s no decision to be made as to when you turn it off”. Something intentionally boring may not work for you. “A lot of my clients will listen to the same book over and over, or listen to boring stories designed to send you to sleep, and they don’t really work because you’re not engaged, so you can continue worrying.” By finding something interesting, she has found, you’re less likely to focus on negative thoughts and won’t feel like you’re actively trying to get to sleep, “and sleep is more likely to come”.

Slow your breathing

“Don’t concentrate on trying to sleep, but concentrate on reducing hyper-arousal,” says Stoddart. “I get people to do slow breathing, or some sort of yoga or relaxation before they go to bed, but only with the expectation that it will calm the system down, rather than guarantee sleep.” In the middle of the night, when you start to get anxious, it can take time for stress hormones such as cortisol to pass. “And usually in that time, you’ve found more reasons to keep it going, so slow breathing can speed up that timeframe and keep you calmer. But it is difficult, which is why I suggest reading a book or watching TV – something that makes it easier to be distracted, calmer and will reinforce the message that ‘it’s not so bad to be awake in the middle of the night’, so that you don’t fuel the fire with more anxiety.”

Get up for a while

‘ 


It feels counterproductive, says Hare, because it’s easy to tell ourselves that if we just lie still for a bit longer, we’ll go to sleep. “If it does feel like you’re about to fall back to sleep, or you’re relaxed, and not worried or anxious, it’s OK to stay where you are. But if you’re starting to think ‘this is terrible’, or that you’re actively trying to sleep, the best thing to do is to get up.” By staying in bed, awake, “you start to develop a conditioned response – that ‘bed’ is about anxiety, frustration and being awake, when what we want is for ‘bed’ to be associated with sleep and relaxation”. Get up for half an hour or so (don’t look at the clock, or time it) and do something enjoyable but relaxing – no eating “because your body is not designed to be digesting in the middle of the night”, and no strenuous exercise or work. “The idea is to break that cycle of negative thinking. Read, watch a bit of TV, as long as you’re not going to get absorbed in some terrifying film, do a hobby, anything you like, as long as you’re not on your device.” She sometimes has to advise people not to watch pornography, because some can get too engrossed in it (but masturbation can be useful as a relaxation aid).

Go back to bed, and if the same thing happens, get up again. “Trust that your sleep biology is very powerful. If you keep taking the wakefulness away from the bed, eventually you will be able to fall back asleep. It might not be within a timeframe that you’re happy with, but the awakenings will get shorter and less frequent.”

Try to stay awake

It’s what’s known as “paradoxical intention” says Hare. Lie down and keep your eyes open. “Sometimes trying to stay awake can bring about sleep – it’s very hard to keep your eyes open, even when you feel you’re wide awake.” It’s not something Hare recommends as a first strategy, but she has recommended it to people who claim they endure being awake for several hours in bed. “It’s unlikely they’re fully awake. Why don’t you try to stay awake for that whole period and see what happens with your eyes open? The whole point is that instead of trying to sleep, it’s just adjusting that attention.”

Don’t give up and get up

With less than an hour before your alarm goes off, you might think you may as well get up, but Foster advises against this. If you can stay relaxed, “lie back and wait for the alarm clock to go off. Chances are, you will fall back to sleep and just that 15 or 20 minutes can be helpful in getting the sleep that you need. Even short sleep can be somewhat beneficial.”Sleep, 

The Trump Interview

 

An ancient Indian memorization secret!

 

Some Myths about Sleep

 

Are you Alright?

By Lucinda Williams 

Lyrics:

Are you alright?

All the sudden you went away.

Are you alright?

I hope you come back around someday.

Are you alright?

I haven't seen you in a real long time.

Are you alright?

Could you give me some kind of sign.

Are you alright?

I looked around me and you were gone.

Are you alright?

I feel like there must be something wrong.

Are you alright?

'Cause it seems like you disappeared.

Are you alright?

'Cause I been feeling a little scared.

Are you alright?

Chorus:

Are you sleeping through the night?

Do you have someone to hold you tight?

Do you have someone to hang out with?

Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,

Hug and kiss you,Hug and kiss you?

Are you alright?

Are you alright?

Is there something been bothering you?

Are you alright?

I wish you'd give me a little clue.

Are you alright?

Is there something you wanna say?

Are you alright?

Just tell me that you're okay.

Are you alright?

'Cause you took off without a word.

Are you alright?

You flew away like a little bird.

Are you alright?

Is there anything I can do?

Are you alright?

'Cause I need to hear from you.

Are you alright?

Chorus

Are you alright?

Are you alright?

Hey... 

This simple 10-3-2-1-0 formula could make your days more productive

Mark Molloy in The Telegraph

 Finding peace and quiet in today’s 24-hour society can be tricky but a simple technique could help boost your productivity, it is claimed.

The 10-3-2-1-0 formula can help you sleep better, feel great in the morning and increase productivity at work, according to author and fitness coach Craig Ballantyne.

 He calls it the ‘Perfect Day’ formula and it’s all to do with giving yourself the best possible chance to start your day feeling well-rested and energetic.

Switching off at the right time before you go to sleep is essential, with the formula encapsulating much of the advice given by a number of health experts for better sleep.

 The 10-3-2-1-0 formula

• 10 hours before bed: No more caffeine
• 3 hours before bed: No more food or alcohol
• 2 hours before bed: No more work
• 1 hour before bed: No more screen time
• 0: The number of times you hit the snooze button in the morning

“The single most important factor in winning your mornings and owning your days is to get up 15 minutes earlier and work on your No. 1 priority before anyone else is awake. It's that simple,” he explains.

“When you follow this formula, you'll get more done and stop letting the big opportunities in your life slip away.”

Tips for getting a better night’s sleep include sharing your bed with a pet, starting work at 10am and enjoying a warm cup of cocoa.

A different 4-7-8 technique, pioneered by Harvard-trained holistic health doctor Andrew Weil, could also be helpful for insomniacs. 
 

Dying at 22 is too steep a price for being ‘the best’

Shobhaa De in The Times of India

My heart broke while reading the tragic account written by a devastated father on hearing about his 22-year-old son’s sudden death in a San Francisco parking lot some weeks ago. Sarvshreshth Gupta had done all the ‘right things’ ambitious Indian parents expect from their children. He was supposed to be living the Great American Dream, after graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, interning with Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank, before landing a job as a financial analyst with Goldman Sachs in San Francisco. His young life followed the golden script written for — and sometimes by — aspiring desi students. Those who toil hard to get into the best business schools in the US, achieve great grades, repay huge loans, make their folks proud, bag high-paying jobs, work harder still… and then collapse! Like young Sarvshreshth did. The unreasonable pressure of a system that expects young people to sweat blood so as to make other people rich, finally got to the analyst — perhaps, had he listened to his father and walked out of his job a few hours earlier, he would have been alive. Fired, perhaps. But alive.

Sarvshreshth’s exchanges with his sensitive, understanding father tell their own story. And it’s a pretty common one. He writes of being severely sleep deprived, working for 20 hours a day, spending nights in an empty office, completing presentations while prepping for a client meeting early the next morning… all the while putting up with the tyranny of a senior VP breathing down his neck — pushing, pushing, pushing. Whenever his father advised him to take it easy and look after his health, Sarvshreshth would bravely reply, “Come on, Papa. I am young and strong. Investment banking is hard work.” As it turns out, the young man was not as strong as he imagined. And yes, the hard work as an investment banker is precisely what killed him.

When I came across the grieving father’s poignant online essay, ‘A Son Never Dies’, I thought about several parents and their children in similar situations. I thought about my own children and their friends… what a scary world they occupy. Look around and you will find many other Sarvshreshths — young men who are literally killing themselves in jobs that pay big bucks, but extract a gigantic price. Yes, Indians today can lay claim to being the best-educated, highest paid ethnic group in America. But, at what cost?

Right now, hundreds of over-wrought parents are undertaking pricey campus tours of various universities abroad. They believe this is their ‘duty’ since they want their kids to ‘get the best’. Is this what they mean by ‘the best’ ? We have equally good universities in India. What sort of absurd pressure is this that forces parents and students to go overseas in the hope of ‘bettering prospects’? Why not have confidence in your child’s ability to shine in India, without going through the sort of trauma Sarvshreshth suffered? Yes, we have ragging in our colleges, and no, some of our academic laurels are not as prestigious in global job markets as Ivy League degrees. So what? If you’ve got it, you will make it. Anywhere!

Just a short while before Sarvshreshth’s body was found (cause of death not officially declared so far), his father had told him to take 15 days’ leave and come home. The fatigued son’s forlorn response was, “They will not allow”. Hours later, he was dead. This sad story should act as a wake-up call for both over-ambitious parents and over-achieving children. Not everybody can take the almost inhuman pressure of the rat race. This young man was missing home-cooked food, the comfort of family and an emotionally reassuring environment. If only he’d had the courage to say, ‘To hell with it…’ and come home, his devastated father would not be writing that pathos-filled essay today.

It’s time we took a fresh look at our craze for ‘foreign degrees’ and ‘foreign jobs’. Today there are over 100,000 Indian students on US campuses. Most will think of this time as the best years of their lives. Some will stay on and be successful there. Others will return and pursue successful careers back home. But a few will crack, crumble and succumb under pressure. The system sees all kinds. But this is not about the survivors. This is about the vulnerable. Every parent wants a child to succeed. But not at the cost of their life.

I wish Sarvshreshth’s father Sunil Gupta would take this important message to many more parents still debating about their child’s future. Earning a degree and bagging a great job are fine goals. But living a wholesome life with people who love and respect you is infinitely more rewarding in the long run.

Irony. This was the worst thing to happen to a young man whose name means ‘The Best’.

How the science of sport can boost exam revision

Training your brain to revise well can be a bit like football training Picture: Alamy 

By Simon Briggs in The Telegraph

6:29PM GMT 27 Mar 2015

  

Jon Finn recently won the Education Initiative of the Year award for his programme Tougher Minds, which takes the insights of sports psychology and applies them to the classroom. Here he boils down the latest scientific research into a 12-point guide.

Tougher Minds from Pre-Shot on Vimeo.

The holy trinity

1. Before you even start planning your revision, you need to be aware of three key factors in the performance of your brain: sleep, diet and exercise. And the greatest of these three is sleep. Britain’s cycling trailblazers Team Sky value it so highly that they employ a sleep scientist during the Tour de France. So for the next few nights, rank your sleep quality out of ten each morning, as well as recording what time you went to bed and woke up. If you’re getting less than nine hours a night, try staying away from electronic screens for an hour before bedtime.

Mapping out your sessions

^{Setting small achievable goals will help you map out your revision and keep an eye on your progress}

2. The next stage is to set some goals. Use the four-column principle: write down each subject, the grade you got in your mocks, how much effort you are currently putting in (out of 100), and finally the grade you’re aiming for. Don’t make it easy: stretch yourself. Put the grid somewhere you can see it: on the fridge or in front of your desk.

• Teens 'cram revision into one night'
• Time for a new vision of revision?

3. Now write a brief revision plan for the next three days. Most people want to work on the subjects they like, but this can mean you’ll get polarised results: As and Ds, for instance. The better you are at a subject, the harder it is to improve, so spend more time on the weaker ones.

4. Follow the 20:20 rule. Research shows us that a golfer who stands on the range and hits shots with a varied sequence of clubs every day does better than a golfer who hits her driver on Monday, her five-iron on Tuesday and so on. The same applies when you’re revising: you’ll improve quicker if you spend 20 minutes on one subject, and then move on to the next. Aim to fit around 20x20-minute sessions into a day; that’s about the equivalent of being at school.

But do put some “Break” sessions in, because most people fare better when they don’t abandon their work-life balance completely. Some might want to reward themselves with an occasional 20 minutes on the Xbox, others will prefer to make time for netball practice or meeting friends. Also include a few “Flexible” entries, because some subjects will probably require more attention than you expected. Use a kitchen timer if possible, not the dreaded iPhone, because it only does one thing and won’t distract you.

How each session should work

^{Your twenty minute sessions should be like interval training, in that your confidence grows with time}

5. Our next piece of sports science is called functional equivalence. When revising, try to simulate the conditions you’ll be tested in, in the same way that Jonny Wilkinson repeatedly practised the drop-goal that won the 2003 rugby World Cup in training. So don’t revise with loud music banging away, or with your parent helping you, or by reading all day and not writing at all. Yes, in your 20-minute slot, you’ll need to look at your notes – especially in essay subjects – but then close your book or your folder and write out some answers, as if giving yourself a 10-minute mini-exam. You could even go so far as to wear the same clothes you will wear in the exam; every little helps!

6. Repeat to remember; remember to repeat. It’s estimated that you need to go over facts four or five times, at spaced-out intervals, to achieve long-term recall. When Jon trains his students, he talks about “turning cobwebs to cables”, which is a reference to the way neurons form strong pathways through repetition. But as with weight training, you don’t do it all at once; you build up your muscles over a sequence of days and weeks. One practical option here is to use the Leitner System: a card-index approach in which you rank topics according to how confident you are with them, and then organise them so that the trickier ones come up more often.

7. Don’t expect revision to be fun! It’s important to remember that we are not well evolved for schoolwork. We still have the same basic cognitive framework as our prehistoric ancestors, who generally lived for 20 to 35 years, and so were designed to seek short-term rewards rather than building skills that might help them over the long term. Your inner caveman is probably going to get frustrated and cranky at the lack of instant satisfaction in this process. He is going to look for distractions, so lock that mobile phone in another room, and turn off your internet connection if you’re using a computer. It’s better to work with pen and paper anyway, because of point No. 6 above.

8. Build your house of confidence. At the end of each 20-minute session, identify three things you have learned or done well in that time. Because your caveman is designed for survival, he is always on the look-out for threats and negative thoughts – the voice in the back of your head that says “You will never be able to do this; it’s boring and you’re wasting your time.” A little upbeat checklist should help you gain a small sense of short-term satisfaction and so keep negativity at bay. Once you have done that, select one thing you can improve on when you return to that topic next time.

Self-reflection

^{While regularly checking your progress helps, putting your phone away will alllow you to really focus}

9. Assess yourself at the end of the day in a closing ceremony, an expanded version of what you did at the end of each session. How well did you follow the plan? Which sessions were most effective? Was there a pattern to times of the day when you achieved more? It probably feels like the last thing you want to do after a hard day at your desk, but this is actually where the greatest benefits are to be found. Athletes make good role models here because they track every detail of their lives, and use the data to optimise their performance levels.

• Ten ways to make the most of your Easter revision
• Last minute revision tips

10. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Your basic unit of study doesn’t have to be exactly 20 minutes – it could be 15 or 30 if that suits you better. Likewise, if your textbook is not helping you understand a certain topic, try searching on YouTube for a video that might present it from a different angle. Or if you suddenly hit a mental block, leave your desk and go for a walk before coming back to it later. Whatever changes you make, they need to be assessed during your closing ceremony. If they’re working for you, you might want to incorporate them into your routine (see 12).

11. One key variable that we haven’t talked about is “activation” – otherwise described as your energy levels. Most people find that their basic activation levels are too low, and therefore benefit from pumping themselves up when they come to study. They might want to do some jogging on the spot or push-ups before they sit down at their desk, but there are others who are happier to be calm. To optimise your productivity, you need to work out where you stand on that spectrum. Here's how to check.

Sample Activation Check

What is activation? It is a concept created to replace the term anxiety. Anxiety is not always bad for learning and performance; you just need to understand how to control it. The symbol below is the activation scale. Low numbers on the scale represent feeling clam and relaxed. If you are at a low number on the scale your breathing and heart rate will be slow. Zero on the scale indicates that you are dead! High numbers on the scale denote being pumped up, nervous or anxious - depending on how you interpret these feelings. If you are at a high number on the scale your breathing and heart rate will be high. You are always somewhere on the scale. Sitting at your desk and writing, aim for a 50 on the activation scale.

^{The activation scale}

You must check and actively manage your activation at the beginning of each 20-minute period to maximise your learning. As the day goes on, achieving the correct activation level can become challenging. You may find it difficult to achieve an optimal activation level during every session. Without good levels of sleep, diet and exercise it will be difficult to manage your activation.

Source: Tougher Minds

Try giving yourself an activation score out of 100 before each 20-minute session, and then at the end of the day look back and see how effective your revision was; a pattern should soon emerge that reveals your optimum score:

12. Once you have found a formula that works, make it a routine. Every professional golfer follows a precise sequence of steps before hitting the ball – both physically and mentally. What makes these people successful, even more than hand-eye coordination, is the ability to control their thoughts when the going gets tough.

• Click here for a free performance planner

Try to master the same single-mindedness in your revision: there is no more valuable skill, at school or in the rest of your life, than self-discipline.

14 Things To Know Before You Start Meditating

Sasha Bronner in The Huffington Post

New to meditating? It can be confusing. Not new to meditating? It can still be confusing.

The practice of meditation is said to have been around for thousands of years -- and yet, in the last few, especially in America, it seems that everyone knows at least one person who has taken on the ancient art of de-stressing.

Because it has been around for so long and because there are many different types of meditation, there are some essential truths you should know before you too take the dive into meditation or mindfulness (or both). Take a look at the suggestions below.

1. You don't need a mantra (but you can have one if you want). 

It has become common for people to confuse mantra with the idea of an intention or specific words to live by. A motto. But the actual word "mantra" means something quite different. Man means mind and tra means vehicle. A mantra is a mind-vehicle. Mantras can be used in meditation as a tool to help your mind enter (or stay in) your meditation practice.

Other types of meditation use things like sound, counting breaths or even just the breath itself as a similar tool. Another way to think about a mantra is like an anchor. It anchors your mind as you meditate and can be what you come back to when your thoughts (inevitably) wander.

2. Don’t expect your brain to go blank.
One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that your mind is supposed to go blank and that you reach a super-Zen state of consciousness. This is typically not true. It's important to keep in mind that you don’t have to try to clear thoughts from your brain during meditation.

The "nature of the mind to move from one thought to another is in fact the very basis of meditation," says Deepak Chopra, a meditation expert and founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. "We don’t eliminate the tendency of the mind to jump from one thought to another. That’s not possible anyway." Depending on the type of meditation you learn, there are tools for gently bringing your focus back to your meditation practice. Alternatively, some types of meditation actually emphasize being present and mindful to thoughts as they arise as part of the practice.

3. You do not have to sit cross-legged or hold you hands in any position. 

You can sit in any position that is comfortable to you. Most people sit upright in a chair or on a cushion. Your hands can fall gently in your lap or at your sides. It is best not to lie down unless you’re doing a body scan meditation or meditation for sleep.

4. Having said that, it’s also okay if you do fall asleep. 
It’s very common to doze off during meditation and some believe that the brief sleep you get is actually very restorative. It’s not the goal, but if it’s a byproduct of your meditation, that is OK. Other practices might give tricks on how to stay more alert if you fall asleep (check out No. 19 on these tips from Headspace), like sitting upright in a chair. In our experience, the relaxation that can come from meditation is a wonderful thing -- and if that means a mini-snooze, so be it.

5. There are many ways to learn.
With meditation becoming so available to the masses, you can learn how to meditate alone, in a group, on a retreat, with your phone or even by listening to guided meditations online. Everyone has a different learning style and there are plenty of options out there to fit individual needs. Read our suggestions for how to get started.

6. You can meditate for a distinct purpose or for general wellness.

Some meditation exercises are aimed at one goal, like helping to ease anxiety or helping people who have trouble sleeping. One popular mindfulness meditation technique, loving-kindness meditation, promotes the positive act of wishing ourselves or others happiness. However, if you don't have a specific goal in mind, you can still reap the benefits of the practice.

7. Meditation has so many health perks. 
Meditation can help boost the immune system, reduce stress and anxiety, improve concentration, decrease blood pressure, improve your sleep, increase your happiness, and has even helped people deal with alcohol or smoking addictions.

8. It can also physically change your brain.
Researchers have not only looked at the brains of meditators and non-meditators to study the differences, but they have also started looking at a group of brains before and after eight weeks of mindfulness meditation. The results are remarkable. Scientists noted everything from "changes in grey matter volume to reduced activity in the 'me' centers of the brain to enhanced connectivity between brain regions," Forbes reported earlier this year.

Those who participated in an eight week mindfulness program also showed signs of ashrinking of the amygdala (the brain’s "fight or flight" center) as well as a thickening of the pre-frontal cortex, which handles brain functions like concentration and awareness.

Researchers also looked at brain imaging on long-term, experienced meditators. Many, when not in a state of meditation, had brain image results that looked more like the images of a regular person's brain while meditating. In other words, the experienced meditator's brain is remarkably different than the non-meditator's brain.

9. Oprah meditates.

So does Paul McCartney, Jerry Seinfeld, Howard Stern, Lena Dunham, Barbara Walters, Arianna Huffington and Kobe Bryant. Oprah teams up with Deepak Chopra for 21-day online meditation experiences that anyone can join, anywhere. The program is free and the next one begins in March 2015.

10. It’s more mainstream than you might think.
Think meditation is still a new-age concept? Think again. GQ magazine wrote their own guide to Transcendental Meditation. Time’s February 2014 cover story wasdevoted to "the mindful revolution" and many big companies, such as Google, Apple, Nike and HBO, have started promoting meditation at work with free classes and new meditation rooms.

11. Mindfulness and meditation are not the same thing.
The two are talked about in conjunction often because one form of meditation is called mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is defined most loosely as cultivating a present awareness in your everyday life. One way to do this is through meditation -- but not all meditation practices necessarily focus on mindfulness.

Mindfulness meditation is referred to most often when experts talk about the health benefits of meditation. Anderson Cooper recently did a special on his experience practicing mindfulness with expert Jon Kabat-Zinn for "60 Minutes."

12. Don’t believe yourself when you say you don’t have time to meditate.

While some formal meditation practices call for 20 minutes, twice a day, many other meditation exercises can be as short as five or 10 minutes. We easily spend that amount of time flipping through Netflix or liking things on Instagram. For some, it’s setting the morning alarm 10 minutes earlier or getting off email a few minutes before dinner to practice.

Another way to think about incorporating meditation into your daily routine is likening it to brushing your teeth. You might not do it at the exact same time each morning, but you always make sure you brush your teeth before you leave the house for the day. For those who start to see the benefits of daily meditation, it becomes a non-negotiable part of your routine.

13. You may not think you’re “doing it right” the first time you meditate.
Or the second or the third. That’s OK. It’s an exercise that you practice just like sit-ups or push-ups at the gym. You don’t expect a six-pack after one day of exercise, so think of meditation the same way.

14. Take a step back.
Many meditation teachers encourage you to assess your progress by noticing how you feel in between meditations -- not while you’re sitting down practicing one. It’s not uncommon to feel bored, distracted, frustrated or even discouraged some days while meditating. Hopefully you also have days of feeling energized, calm, happy and at peace. Instead of judging each meditation, try to think about how you feel throughout the week. Less stressed, less road rage, sleeping a little bit better? Sounds like it's working.

Life getting you down? Learn to bounce back

Even the most fortunate of us can expect setbacks every now and again. Here are some ways to get back on your feet

• Vanessa King
• theguardian.com, Monday 5 January 2015 16.59 GMT

‘When things go wrong, resilient thinkers see it as transitory.’ Photograph: Getty Images

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger” – so the German philosopher Nietzsche famously said. Luckily, the school of hard knocks isn’t the only way to build our resilience. There are a number of tactics that can get us through tough times, help us to bounce back and make us happier. Next time you are struggling, feeling stressed or stuck, give one or more of these a try.

1. Find something you can control (even if it’s small)

Often when we are struggling we can feel overwhelmed or powerless. And it’s true: there are lots of things in life that we can’t control, including big challenges such as redundancy or broken relationships or bereavement. But taking small, positive steps in any area of our life can have a ripple effect, increasing our sense of self-efficacy and eventually enabling us to move forward in the problem area.

2. Focus on what’s right

As a species, we tend to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right. Psychologists suggest we developed this “negativity bias” when we were hunter-gatherers, constantly surveying our environment for dangers.

Of course looking out for risks is still important, but we can benefit from paying more conscious attention to what’s going right. In one experiment psychologists asked people to spend a few minutes at the end of each day for a week, making a note of three things they enjoyed, were pleased about or grateful for that day and the reason they found these things good. At the end of the study, participants who did this were happier than those who didn’t – and this effect lasted for as long as six months.

This isn’t about putting on rose-tinted glasses – it’s about a more balanced perspective. Good things happen even on the worst days, even if these are as small as someone making us a nice cup of tea, yet we often let them pass by without much attention. Psychologists have shown that consciously focusing on these good things helps to increase our experience of positive emotions. Over time this has a number of benefits for our resilience and wellbeing as, for example, we become more open to ideas, better at problem-solving and more trusting of others.

3. Check your thinking

Albert Ellis, one of the fathers of cognitive behavioural therapy, wrote that we are remarkably good at disturbing ourselves – in other words, the way we think can undermine our own resilience.

Let’s look at an example: the way we think when things go wrong in our day-to-day lives. Leading psychologist Martin Seligman found that the way we interpret the causes of everyday setbacks can have a significant impact on our ability to cope, our physical health and our persistence in the face of adversity. He also showed that we can learn more resilient thinking styles.

Seligman looked at three key dimensions to our interpretations:

Is it down to me? When bad things happen, resilient thinkers tend to focus on causes outside themselves. For example, if they miss a deadline they will look at the computer issues they had or the other pressing jobs they had to do, rather than only beating themselves up for being late.

How long will this problem last? When things go wrong, resilient thinkers see it as transitory, perhaps thinking: “It didn’t work this time, but next time it will be better.” Someone with a less resilient thinking style might believe it will always be that way: “It didn’t work this time, and it’s never going to.”

What other aspects of my life will this affect? When something goes wrong in one area of a resilient thinker’s life, they put boundaries around the issue, limiting it to that specific area – for example: “I went the wrong way; I find following directions hard.” We can undermine our resilience if we see the problem as spreading out to everything: “I went the wrong way. That’s typical of me – I’m no good at anything.”

This isn’t about being unrealistic or not taking responsibility when problems occur, but about being realistic and flexible in our thoughts about why these issues happened. If we are stressed or down, we can all too easily fall into the trap of thinking that everything is our fault, can’t be changed and trouble will spread to all areas of our life. This makes us feel hopeless and can start a downward spiral towards lower resilience and even depression.

So the next time something goes wrong for you, pause for a moment and think realistically: how did I, others or the situation contribute to this? What can I do that will help now or stop the problem occurring again?

4. Ask others to help

When we have problems, it is very easy to feel isolated. We are bombarded by images of people with perfect lives or who have achieved great things, which can make us feel we’re not good enough or even ashamed that we are struggling. Remember the saying “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle inside” and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all have ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses, and connecting with other people is a source of resilience.

Human beings evolved to live in social groups. Our relationships with those around us are really important for our wellbeing and resilience (and that of our communities). By asking for help we are showing that we value and respect other people. Scientists are also finding that the act of helping actually boosts the helper’s own wellbeing. Showing our vulnerability makes others see us as human, making them feel more able to ask us for help when they need it, so building the relationship. This helps to increase wellbeing and resilience for both of you.

Your request doesn’t have to place a burden on the other person – it could be as simple as asking them to listen, share their experience, knowledge or ideas to help you move forward, or perhaps make a connection to someone they know. You could even offer to help them with something in return (that could help you too).

5. Distract yourself

It often helps to take time out from the things you are worrying about – even if it’s just a few minutes.

When we are immersed in a problem it is hard to think creatively about ways to deal with it. How many times have your best ideas come when you’ve been in the shower or tidying up? Our brains are amazing organs – they are still working on issues even when we aren’t consciously focusing on them. In fact, allowing time off from the thing we’re grappling with can work wonders.

An effective ways of taking time out is exercise. Not only does this give us a break from what we’re doing and our worries; it’s also great for our minds. Anything moderately aerobic, such as jogging or simply a brisk walk, has a physical impact on our brain, helping us to think more clearly.

Much has been written about mindfulness, and this can be very effective way to boost our resilience. Even a few minutes can give us a little space from our worries and help put things in perspective.

Take time to laugh. We have already looked at the benefits of positive emotions. Years ago I trained as an accountant (we can all make career mistakes). This involved doing a lot of difficult exams and a lot of pre-exam nerves. To deal with that anxiety, my friend Siobhan, who was doing the same training, had a tactic that we all thought was mad at the time but, based on recent psychological research, turned out to be a good one. Outside the exam room, as we waited to meet our destiny, Siobhan would immerse herself in a joke book. She said it helped to put her in an upbeat frame of mind, ready to focus in the exams (which she went on to pass).

And finally, if you can’t get to sleep because your mind won’t switch off, find a way to distract it – for example, counting back from 100 in threes or going through the alphabet trying to think of as many animals/actors/footballers (you choose the topic) for each letter as you can.