by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer in The Times
Don't confuse your success with your children's. Separate yourself from your children. Neither their failures nor their successes are yours. Ask yourself why either matter so much to you.
Don't set unrealistic standards. Allow your children to set their own achievable goals and move on to the next one when they are ready.
Don't punich failure and see it as shameful; this can lead to lying, cheating, defiance, self-doubt and anxiety.
Don't generalise from any setback or mistake. It is not helpful to say, "You'll never be successful in life if you carry on skimping ...."
Don't reject them if they disappoint you or adore them if they succeed. Love them for who they are, not for what they can do.
Don't demand perpetual progress so that no success ever seems good enough. This could lead to anxious perfectionism and burnout.
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